There have been some silent days of wondering where to begin, of what to say, of how to say it. There is so much. I can see it all so fully formed in my head, but I just can’t see every detail, or hear every word. It’s like all the drama I see and internalize and actually feel, but can’t express, except in a curve or a particular color. Abby used to say, ‘Oh, what a sensitive soul you have.’ This intense, sensitive soul that has spent the last many years searching or researching, but still looking, learning, and wanting…sometimes just wanting to understand. But all along I have taken in all these parts of it, all these stories and souls, and it envelopes my mind with those delicious velvet corners. Tonight I aim to see beyond my cocoon, perhaps to even think of chewing through the cocoon. You see tonight I want to be able to take all that I’ve seen, all that I know, all that I don’t know, and turn it all into some kind of sweet essence. A simple story about a fish or two, and the litany of actions that let them be. But each time I start, I also stop and wonder if I can paint the same color with words as with paint and wax.